Seriously thought, that's what I am. Amazed. I continue to be completely amazed by how well my new "plumbing" is working. I never expected it to be this good this early on! If you are a person with healthy guts, this will probably sound awful to you, but if you are a j-poucher...or even just an IBD sufferer, then you'll understand where I am coming from.
I am seven days out from reversal surgery. I am averaging six to seven trips to the bathroom per day right now. I took an Imodium before breakfast this morning and was able to go from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. without needing to go at all. I sleep all night without interruption. I have no leakage, accidents, pain, bleeding, or urgency. It's wonderful!
The only issue I've had is a little bit of irritation, or what we j-pouch kids like to call butt burn. I think I've pretty much resolved that thanks to some tweaks to my routine and remembering that I still had my little squeeze wash bottle they give you when you have a baby. For those interested in such details here is what I do: go as needed, squirt a little water to rinse off the excess, use a Cottonelle wipe to get things clean, squirt a little water to rinse off the stuff from the wipe, pat dry with TP, then apply my protective paste I got from CC. It sounds like a lot, but it isn't that bad and it has helped so much that it is worth the steps. We are looking at ordering a bidet seat for the toilet though. That would cut out the steps with the wipe and all that because the water would be enough to clean things up. So it would just be go, clean with bidet, pat dry, paste as needed. Sounds good to me!